Pastoral Care

“Ah. I smiled. I’m not really here to keep you from freaking out. I’m here to be with you while you freak out, or grieve or laugh or suffer or sing. It is a ministry of presence. It is showing up with a loving heart.”― Kate Braestrup, Here If You Need Me

I began my career as a chaplain when I was nine-years-old. My sister’s best friend was housebound due to a severe case of poison ivy from head to toe. Instead of joining my siblings at the local swim club, I went to the drug store and bought nectar phosphates and paper dolls. I spent the day with Kathy in solidarity and to keep her company. Many years later, I found myself in seminary, training to be a minister. I volunteered at the Center for Attitudinal Healing in the Home and Hospital Program and later was hired to assist the Director, Cheryl Shohan to help train volunteers. Cheryl became a significant mentor and a dear friend until her death from cancer in 2010. Her wisdom continues to guide me in my ministry.

While I was serving in Chattanooga, a beloved congregant was diagnosed with ALS, and during a visit as the disease progressed, Maurine wanted to talk with me about her memorial service. She had lost the ability to speak by then and was making use of a computer voice. We were in her office and I noticed a wall calendar that had Feb 18 marked as her birthday. I said, “Maureen, wouldn’t you rather have a celebration of your life while you are still here to enjoy it?” She gave me a big smile and a thumb’s up. It was January so we didn’t have a lot of time to plan, but the congregation rallied, and we had a lovely birthday party for her with guests coming from across the country.  She had a lovely time as her friends shared stories and had the chance to share their appreciation. It was magical, and I learned something valuable that day. I hope to encourage people near the end of life to celebrate life with loved ones and friends while they can.